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Wrong Number

February, 2008

I've had a new thing happen to me. It's similar to an old thing, but different.

The old thing--and I would imagine that most of you have had this entertaining experience--is a phone call which takes place beginning the day you start your new phone service at your brand new home, and which continues taking place for the next six months, give or take.

"Hello, Jones' residence." (That's you.)

"Hi, is Rebecca there?" (That's not you.)

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must have the wrong number."

This is how you sound the first few times you get this call. After several dozen of them however, you truncate your answer:

"Wrong numberrrrrrr!"

Either way, the pool soul on the other end of the line continues, after a confused and hesitant silence, "Is this 555-1234?"

"Yes, it is."

(Or, "Yesssss," depending on how many times you've answered that question.)

"Oh, okay. Do you know Rebecca's new number then?"

"Uh, well no. I don't know who Rebecca is."

"You haven't met her?"

"No. Sorry."

Another confused and hesitant silence. During this time you can tell that they think you are lying to them and that Rebecca is standing right next to you, giggling silently behind her hand.

"Okay, sorry to bother you."

I've always figured that the people who make these calls are the ones who've been colonized on Mars since before the invention of the telephone, or they'd know that a phone number isn't attached to a house!

As entertaining as that scenario is, however, I find the new one to be even more so.

"Hello, Jones' residence."

"Hi, may I speak with Mary Smith, please?"

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."

"Is this 555-1234?"

"Yes, it is."

In the ensuing silence, I realize that Mary Smith is the person we bought our house from, five years ago. So, in an effort to be helpful, I offer the following information:

"Mary Smith used to live at this address, but this was never her phone number."

The customer service rep at the other end of the line then asks me if I know how to get in touch with Mary.

"Uh, no. Sorry."

"Okay, thank you for your time."

When I get off the phone after this one, I am amazed. Amazed that, in their effort to locate Mary Smith, this company has cross-referenced her five-year-old previous address with its current phone number and expected to find her there! Then when they don't, they want me to assist them in their search.

Amazing.

Incredibly enough--and even more amazing--is the call that came in later that afternoon:

"Hello, Jones' residence."

"Hi, may I speak with Mary Smith, please?"

Now the confused, hesitant, and totally disbelieving silence is on my end, until I realize: it is the same customer service rep from the morning!

I am ashamed to report that I didn't even bother to follow the Wrong Number Protocol. Instead I said, "You--have--already--tried--this--number--today!"

It must have been something in my tone, because that's the last time I heard from them.

---

Chantal L. DeYoe
Products For A Good Life

I am a Christian and a homeschooling, homesteading mom who endeavors to continue moving along the path toward becoming a full-time writer.
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